Light a candle
A psychologist was asked to work with Cambodian refugees. Having only worked on first world problems she wondered at her suitability. These people had experienced horrors: torture, rape, poverty and starvation. Was she capable?
Her experience surprised her: The common concern was relationships “I fell in love with this woman, we were separated, she married someone else. I can’t get over her.” “I have moved to a new community and feel so lonely. No one seems to understand me”.
Her Western and Cambodian clients had the same issues: Relationships consumed their thoughts… because it is through our relationships that we get our anchor and upon which we build our contentment.
The matters which consume us are our relationships yet each work day we fill our to-do-lists not with our most pressing priority but with tasks that will create our career… which we will then leverage for “stuff”.
At night we may wonder (or maybe rage) why we aren’t praised; don’t feel valued; aren’t heard; don’t get the attention we want.
But… if we have no one’s life on our to-do-list aren’t we being presumptuous expecting others to prioritise us?
Show the way. Light a candle rather than complaining about the dark.
Set daily tasks that will give others attention: Like smile at 3 people, learn about Joe’s holiday, listen with no agenda….Tasks which have no expectation of reward…otherwise it’s a transaction like all the rest.
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